A Christmas Carol

by Charles Dickens

Stave One: Marley’s Ghost

Marley was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner. Scrooge signed it. And Scrooge’s name was good upon ‘Change, for anything he chose to put his hand to. Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail.

Mind! I don’t mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade. But the wisdom of our ancestors is in the simile; and my unhallowed hands shall not disturb it, or the Country’s done for. You will therefore permit me to repeat, emphatically, that Marley was as dead as a door-nail.

Scrooge knew he was dead? Of course he did. How could it be otherwise? Scrooge and he were partners for I don’t know how many years. Scrooge was his sole executor, his sole administrator, his sole assign, his sole residuary legatee, his sole friend, and sole mourner. And even Scrooge was not so dreadfully cut up by the sad event, but that he was an excellent man of business on the very day of the funeral, and solemnised it with an undoubted bargain.

The mention of Marley’s funeral brings me back to the point I started from. There is no doubt that Marley was dead. This must be distinctly understood, or nothing wonderful can come of the story I am going to relate. If we were not perfectly convinced that Hamlet’s Father died before the play began, there would be nothing more remarkable in his taking a stroll at night, in an easterly wind, upon his own ramparts, than there would be in any other middle-aged gentleman rashly turning out after dark in a breezy spot — say Saint Paul’s Churchyard for instance — literally to astonish his son’s weak mind.

Scrooge never painted out Old Marley’s name. There it stood, years afterwards, above the ware-house door: Scrooge and Marley. The firm was known as Scrooge and Marley. Sometimes people new to the business called Scrooge Scrooge, and sometimes Marley, but he answered to both names. It was all the same to him.

Oh! But he was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge! a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous old sinner! Hard and sharp as flint, from which no steel had ever struck out generous fire; secret, and self-contained, and solitary as an oyster. The cold within him froze his old features, nipped his pointed nose, shrivelled his cheek, stiffened his gait; made his eyes red, his thin lips blue; and spoke out shrewdly in his grating voice. A frosty rime was on his head, and on his eyebrows, and his wiry chin. He carried his own low temperature always about with him; he iced his office in the dog-days; and didn’t thaw it one degree at Christmas.

External heat and cold had little influence on Scrooge. No warmth could warm, no wintry weather chill him. No wind that blew was bitterer than he, no falling snow was more intent upon its purpose, no pelting rain less open to entreaty. Foul weather didn’t know where to have him. The heaviest rain, and snow, and hail, and sleet, could boast of the advantage over him in only one respect. They often came down handsomely, and Scrooge never did.

Nobody ever stopped him in the street to say, with gladsome looks, “My dear Scrooge, how are you. When will you come to see me.” No beggars implored him to bestow a trifle, no children asked him what it was o’clock, no man or woman ever once in all his life inquired the way to such and such a place, of Scrooge. Even the blindmen’s dogs appeared to know him; and when they saw him coming on, would tug their owners into doorways and up courts; and then would wag their tails as though they said, “No eye at all is better than an evil eye, dark master! ”

But what did Scrooge care! It was the very thing he liked. To edge his way along the crowded paths of life, warning all human sympathy to keep its distance, was what the knowing ones call nuts to Scrooge.

Once upon a time — of all the good days in the year, on Christmas Eve — old Scrooge sat busy in his counting-house. It was cold, bleak, biting weather: foggy withal: and he could hear the people in the court outside, go wheezing up and down, beating their hands upon their breasts, and stamping their feet upon the pavement stones to warm them. The city clocks had only just gone three, but it was quite dark already: it had not been light all day: and candles were flaring in the windows of the neighbouring offices, like ruddy smears upon the palpable brown air. The fog came pouring in at every chink and keyhole, and was so dense without, that although the court was of the narrowest, the houses opposite were mere phantoms. To see the dingy cloud come drooping down, obscuring everything, one might have thought that Nature lived hard by, and was brewing on a large scale.

The door of Scrooge’s counting-house was open that he might keep his eye upon his clerk, who in a dismal little cell beyond, a sort of tank, was copying letters. Scrooge had a very small fire, but the clerk’s fire was so very much smaller that it looked like one coal. But he couldn’t replenish it, for Scrooge kept the coal-box in his own room; and so surely as the clerk came in with the shovel, the master predicted that it would be necessary for them to part. Wherefore the clerk put on his white comforter, and tried to warm himself at the candle; in which effort, not being a man of a strong imagination, he failed.

“A merry Christmas, uncle! God save you!” cried a cheerful voice. It was the voice of Scrooge’s nephew, who came upon him so quickly that this was the first intimation he had of his approach.

“Bah!” said Scrooge, “Humbug!”

I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach. Oh, tell me I may sponge away the writing on this stone!

For me, designing, building and developing websites has been just like these early experiences. Starting in 1997 with very basic HTML sites, right through to developing the complex dynamic content management systems (CMS) I build today. So, when people ask me why websites can be so expensive, why they can take a considerable amount of time to develop, or why they can’t successfully build them themselves, I explain using the following analogy:

When building plastic model kits, experience showed that I needed an array of specialist equipment to complete them successfully, including a very sharp craft knife to remove the smallest parts from the plastic ‘tree’ (my Mother’s best dinner knives just wouldn’t do the trick), fine grade sanding blocks to smooth out any imperfections in the separate parts were essential (my Mother’s nail boards were perfect for this though!), special polystyrene cement to glue the pieces together (I found to my dismay that EvoStick totally dissolved the plastic), small tins of specialist Humbrol model paint to finish the piece (I couldn’t use water-based poster or emulsion paint), and a selection of good quality paintbrushes to highlight the smallest details.

When a new model kit box was opened for the first time there were hundreds, sometimes thousands, of small parts which required assembly in a finite sequence to build the kit successfully. The instruction sheet presented itself as anything from a small, double-sided, piece of paper to a full technical engineering booklet (imagine the nightmare of assembling a model aeroplane and discovering you’ve glued the cockpit canopy glass in place, but forgot to put the pilot inside first – or you’ve glued the fuselage together, but forgot to insert the propeller or tail rudder first – been there, done that, didn’t enjoy wearing the t-shirt!

The kits needed to be built in stages, allowing sufficient time for the glue to dry on each section before its joined to another.

Once glued, some sections of the model required painting before they could be assembled with other parts of the kit – so paint drying time was added to glue drying time.

The assembled model required painting in stages, allowing each one sufficient time to dry thoroughly before the next colour or paint effect could be applied.

Then the ‘transfers’ (or decals) were carefully applied to the painted model, again allowing each one sufficient time to dry in areas where several appeared together in a small area.

Finally, it was critical that the finished model was carefully looked after, as the slightest impact could easily ruin days or weeks of work.

So how does all this fit with developing websites I hear you ask?

Well, in actual fact, every stage of the model building process I just described has its counterpart when developing modern websites:

Client instructions can be very simple, or highly complex multi-page documents. The ‘raw’ CMS installation bears no resemblance to the finished website and requires many smaller elements to achieve its complex functionality. These ‘raw’ files need to be styled, coloured and have graphics applied to them. Each separate element of the site must be built, thoroughly tested and bug-fixed before it can be added to the rest. The completed website must be regularly, and carefully maintained to ensure best performance.

So, like my early days of model building, you might think you can build a website yourself, but be prepared for those left-over propellers.

If you’d like to discuss your website requirements in detail, please get in touch.

Do these same people ever think of asking an Architect to design a house without paying for it? Or a Potter or Glassmaker to create tableware for free? Would these same people do free work for me if I approached them with the same refrain? No, of course not! So why is this expected of Graphic Designers!?

This ‘freebie seeking’ mentality seems to stem from a fundamental misunderstanding of, and lack of respect for, the range of services and benefits a professional Graphic Designer can offer, and the perception that Graphic Designers ‘sit in front of computers all day drawing pretty pictures’ (an actual quote I’ve heard many times), and ‘presenting nothing but sheets of paper whilst charging a fortune for it’ (another actual quote I’ve heard).

I’m sure I’m not alone in wishing I had the time to draw pretty pictures!

In reality, commissioning a professional Graphic Designer is the difference between carefully considered, successful designs, or clip-art solutions thrown down with no consideration. Yes, anyone can sit at a computer and throw together ‘designs’ using clip-art and images from Google, but the Infinite Monkey Theorem stated (in very broad terms) “There’s a statistical theory that if you gave a million monkeys typewriters and set them to work, they’d eventually come up with the complete works of Shakespeare.” However, thanks to the internet, Microsoft and cheap PCs, we now know this isn’t true.

For those who say to me ‘I could’ve done that on my computer back at the office’, I say ‘go ahead and good luck!’

To compound the issue even further, some graphic designers agree to work for free in the hope that they might win commissions – despite the fact that most professional design bodies, such as ISTD and the CSD, do not approve of this activity – so much so that membership can be immediately revoked for undertaking speculative work. Do these designers really want a reputation based on working for free!?

The NO!SPEC organisation argues that this type of speculative activity can actually damage the graphic design industry as a whole and, in turn, the overall quality of work clients are able to commission.

I realise times are hard and everyone’s trying to save money and make a living, but Graphic Designers are in the same boat too.

Its for all of the above reasons that I never have, and never will undertake work without payment.

For anyone who’s as fed up with Microsoft products as I am, there is hope.

I discovered, not a stiff drink at the end of every Microsoft Office session, but a really well built and well designed open source office suite called OpenOffice. Its free to download, works on practically every computer platform available and is fully compatible with all existing Microsoft Office documents.

OpenOffice packages include Writer (Word), Calc (Excel), Impress (PowerPoint), plus Draw (drawing package), Base (for database creation), and Math (for creating and resolving mathematical formulae).

What they say…
OpenOffice.org 3 is the leading open-source office software suite for word processing, spreadsheets, presentations, graphics, databases and more. It is available in many languages and works on all common computers. It stores all your data in an international open standard format and can also read and write files from other common office software packages. It can be downloaded and used completely free of charge for any purpose.

What I say…
It works, is available for just about any computer platform and its totally free – what more is there to say except download it now!

If they are graphic designers then this is fine, but what the other business owners don’t realise is that their poorly designed corporate, sales and marketing materials are in fact wholly detrimental to the public image of their companies.

If a potential customer sees poorly designed sales materials, the customer will sub-consciously think the company produces products that are poorly designed or sub-standard.

First impressions last! – its that simple, and its a proven fact.

Next time you visit a major retail outlet, have a glance along the shelves and see how many ‘home-made’ logos you see there… My guess is none!? That’s because all of these manufacturers and producers know and understand that, for their products and services to appeal to their target audiences, and then create a desire to part with their hard-earned cash, they need stop producing materials in-house, and start employing experienced professionals instead.

It’s this decision, an allocated budget (however large or small) and a little time, that has the potential to change any popular local business, into a nationally recognised and respected company.

I’m constantly told ‘we can’t afford to produce this professionally’. My reply to this is always ‘when you risk losing potential sales and profits, you can’t afford not to produce everything professionally’.

Yes there are always cost implications – but the return always pays dividends.

Never underestimate the value of good design!

You visit the local showroom to order a new car, and tell the salesperson you have a limited amount of money to spend. After browsing through several brochures you find a model you like and the salesman offers you an option which falls within your budget. You agree to this and your order goes off to the factory where your new car, with a specification matching your budget, is manufactured and eventually delivered to the showroom.

The salesman calls to tell you your new car has arrived and is ready for you to collect. Off you go to collect your new car. Paintwork is just the shade you wanted but, hang on a minute, it isn’t metallic! There are no electric windows or mirrors, no CD player or MP3 connectivity, no leather seats, no SatNav, no alloy wheels and no alarm.

You complain to the salesman, who explains that the model you ordered, and which fell within your budget, doesn’t come pre-fitted with all of those optional extras. He goes on to explain that he’ll happily get these extras added to your new car, but that this will have significant additional cost implications.

If there is a moral to all this, it has to be ‘you can’t order a Lada and expect a Bentley!’ Just like the enthusiatic salesperson, most designers will ‘go the extra mile’ for a client – adding little extra flourises free of charge. However, changing your original brief invariably means changes to quoted prices and timescales. The more work a designer has to put in to achieve your brief, the more this will cost… Time really is money!

We Are What We Do
Started in 2004, the We Are What We Do movement is a registered charity aiming to inspire people to use their everyday actions to change the world. Whoever they are, and wherever they are. And that includes you!

Their maxim is: small actions X lots of people = big change. It’s not rocket science but it does work!

Copies of the book cost just £5 (hence the title) and are available from the We Are What We Do website, all good high street bookshops or online retailers.

Written by Eugénie Harvey
Published by Short Books Ltd
ISBN 1-904095-96-8

If you can get past some of the ‘americanisms‘, its all fascinating and very inspiring stuff, mostly business related, but with many ideas and philosophies that could just as easily be applied to everyday living. Even better tho, all proceeds from The Big Moo go to charity.

I highly recommend all three of these books – I’ve found loads of useful bits of information and ideas that I’m going to apply to my business philosophies.

More info on Seth’s website – have a read and let me know what you think!?

Competitors will access your website just as much as genuine visitors, and they will use the info to match or better your prices and services – why not, its free and publicly available!?

In addition, by including everything, you run the risk of making your site a ‘passive’ experience for visitors. Even those with a genuine interest might pass through your site without you even knowing they were there, and without giving you the chance to offer them last minute special offers or deals.

Make visiting your website more of an ‘active’ experience by giving visitors a taster of what’s on offer, and present them with every opportunity to contact you for more info. This way you’ll pick up genuine enquiries and start collecting addresses for your mailing list.

These days it seems that this vital part of the briefing process has all but vanished, and is only adopted by much larger corporate or commercial organisations.

The thing is, a clearly written brief provides both client and designer with a focal point to each project – a single reference point to which everyone can refer when the boundaries of client expectation vs designer’s understanding become grey and murky.

Another reason why written design briefs are so useful, is that both client and designer are forced to think more strategically about the desired outcome of each project – ironing out any potential problems or sticking points before the project even begins, and thus saving both valuable time and money.

Many smaller clients can feel daunted at the prospect of writing a design brief and, if this is you, don’t worry – you’re not alone! The easiest way to write a successful design brief is to involve a designer at a very early stage.

With this in mind, I’m happy to provide design brief guidelines tailored to your individual requirements. Just get in touch – I’m happy to advise and help!